Know Your Stars!
by Naturally High
Summary: Know your stars, Invader Zim style! IT ISH FUNNEH! READ EET! You'll laugh! YOu'll laugh 'till you cry! You'll get high! YOU'LL EVEN MAMBO, once you get high!
1. Chapter 1 Zim

Wooooooo! I hasent been here for sooooo long! Like you care. . .SO! This is a "Know your Stars" fic! THOSE ARE GREAT! So prepare for some wackiness as I do the Zim cast! Woh. . .I mean as IMIX INthe Zim cast. . .O.O That sounded WRONG!

Disclaimer- I don't own that Know Your Stars gig OR Invader Zim! THEY OTH RAWK THOUGH!

**Know Your Stars**

**Zim!**

_Zim takes a seat on a stool in a biiig dark room, looking confused and aggravated. _

Disembodied voice- Know your stars, know your stars, know you stars. . .

Zim- HMMM! WHO DARES INTRUDE ON ZIM!

Disembodied voice- Zim, he. . .

Zim- WHO ARE YOU?

Voice- Zim. . .

Zim- WHO ARE YOU?

Voice- Zim. . .

Zim- WHO. ARE. YOU?

Voice- SHADDUP OR I'LL. . .DO BAD THINGS TO YOU! CUZ I CAN!

Zim- (silent)

Voice- coughs Zim, he LOVES the humans. And Earth. A lot.

Zim- WHAT! ZIM LOVES NO WORM-BABIES! OR THE DIRT PLANET! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS YOU SPEAK?

Voice- Zim. . . he has geckos in his pants.

Zim- HMMM! WHAT ARE "GECKOS"! I HAVE NONE OF THESE "GECKOS" ANYWHERE IN MY UNIFORM!

Voice- Zim. . .His name is French for "Blood sucking monkeys"! (Inside joke. . .)

Zim- LIAR! ZIM'S NAME IS IRKEN FOR "MIGHTY OVERLORD"!

Voice- You wish!

Zim- Yeah, I know. . .

Voice- Zim. . . has a intimate relationship with Dib.

Zim- LIAR! YOU (screams some obscenities I ain't gonna repeat)!

Voice- Yeah. . .Even _I _don't believe that crap. . .Let those slashers believe the trash. . .(cough) Anyway. . .Zim. . .has cross dressed on several occasions!

Zim- YOU FOOL! I NEVER. . .Wait. . .Well, maybe I did on Probing Day. . .BUT IT WAS NECESSARY!

Voice- snorts Yeah right! Make-up was _necessary? _

Zim- Leave me alone. . .(curls in a ball)

Voice- Zim. . .Is hated by everyone in his home planet!

Zim- Now THAT is utterly ridiculous! Zim is loved by ALL!

Voice- (snickers)

Zim- Eh?

Voice- Oh, nothing!

Zim- (cocks an eyebrow)

Voice- Zim. . .Has made a shrine to Ms. Bitters made entirely of deli meats! Since he LOVES her! He thinks she's a sexy mama!

Zim- (makes freaked out little noises of horror)

Voice- Zim. . . has a teddy bear named Mr. Snuffers that he talks to and humps on a daily basis!

Zim- FOOL! ZIM HAS NO PLUSH TOY! NEVER! CEASE THESE HORRIBLE LIES! OR YOU SHALL PAY, EARTH-BEAST!

Voice- Who said I'm human?

Zim- Oh, I just assumed. . .

Voice- Well, you're no better off than me, you little hypocrite!

Zim- (brings out a laser from his PAK and shoots in the direction of the voice)

Voice- AH! SHIT! (sound of someone falling is heard)

Zim- (laughs)

Voice- (in pain) Now. . .You know. . .Zim. . .

Zim- NU UH!

Voice- Oh shaddup. . .

* * *

That kinda sucked, didn't? Sorreh. . .I haven't written in awhile. . .R&R anyway! GIVE ME IDEAS! Dib is next! 


	2. Chapter 2 Dib

Woo! Four reviews within five hours of publishing! And six reviews as of now! Can it be possible that I have actually created a POPULAR fic? YES! Here's a chapter on Dib! I can get these chappies in QUICK 'cause this stuff comes like naturally to me! Yes, I'm a sick freak!

**Know Your Stars!**

**Dib!**

_Dib is sitting on the stool in the dark room pretty freaked out._

Voice- Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. . .

Dib- Huh? Who's there? A GHOST! WOWEE! THIS IS SO. . .

Voice- Shut your freakin' paranormal mouth! I DON'T NEED ONE OR YOUR RANTS! THEY ANNOY ME!

Dib- (abruptly shuts his mouth)

Voice- Ahem. . .Dib. . .has a really, really, REALLY BIIIIIG head! SO BIG IT WILL EVENTUALLY IMPLODE ON ITSELF!

Dib- HEY! MY HEAD'S NOT. . .

Voice- Face it Dib! IT IS! GET OUT OF DENIAL MAN! IT'S LIKE A WATERMELON! NO, IT'S BIGGER, DAMMIT!

Dib- (glares)

Voice- Dib. . .THINKS THE PARANORMAL IS A LOAD OF CRAP!

Dib- WHAT! THAT'S ABSURD! The Paranormal is my LIFE!

Voice- Poor, crazy obsessionist. . .

Dib- Hey! I didn't say I was OBSESSED! Wait. . .Well. . .Yes. . .I am. . .(sweat drop)

Voice- Dib. . .collects BARBIES! AND RAPES THEM!

Dib- HEY! I only did that once. . .I MEAN, I NEVER DID ANY THING OF THE SORT!

Voice- O.O . . .Jesus Christ. . .

Dib- . . .

Voice- Um. . .Okay. . .Dib. . .has Powerpuff Girl bed sheets!

Dib- O.O THAT'S ANOTHER LIE! WHAT IS UP WITH YOU, MAN? THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

Voice- You know how much I get paid to do this, kid?

Dib- Um. . .No. . .

Voice- A lot. Now shut the Hell up, fat-ass-head.

Dib- (whimpers)

Voice- (mumbles some swears) Dib. . .Has a family of gerbils living in his over-sized head, gnawing on his brain and causing MENTAL DISORDERS!

Dib- THAT'S NOT TRUE! AT ALL! I'M SANE! WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THESE THINGS!

Voice- People have said you rape Barbies before?

Dib- No. . .But. . .

Voice- Please shut up. . .

Dib- Okay. . .

Voice- Dib. . .HAS THREE NIIPPLES!

Dib- THAT'S A LIE! And where would you have a THIRD nipple?

Voice- You tell me, boy with three nipples!

Dib- I DON'T HAVE THREE NIPPLES!

Voice- Yes, you do!

Dib- NO!

Voice- YES!

Dib- **NO!**

Voice- Yes you do! You're a large-headed, three-nipple-ed, Barbie rapist!

Dib- I CAN'T TAKE THIS MADNESS! (runs off screaming)

Voice- (snorts) Sissy. . .

(Giggles) I really chewed Dib out, didn't I? POOR FOOL BOY! Pity him. . .HE HAS THREE NIPPLES! (I got that from Ed, Edd, and Eddy. . .) Anyway, R&R! And gimme ideas! GIR IS NEXT! That should be tons o' fun!


	3. Chapter 3 Gir

(squee) Nine reviews with only two chapters! That's A LOT for me! YOUR REVIEWS BRING MY VAST JOY! (makes munkeh noises) I'VE GOT A CHOCOLATE BUZZ! IT ALWAYS IMPROVES MY WRITING! SO LET THE HILARITY BEGIN, FOO'S!

**Know Your Stars!**

**Gir!**

_Gir runs into the room screaming his metal head off. He rushes towards the stool and slides under it. He remains there, giggling manically. _

Voice- Know your stars, know your. . .Hey! GET ON TOP OF THE STOOL SO YOU CAN HEAR MY FUCKING INSULTS BETTER!

Gir- (giggles, but does nothing)

Voice- What's so funny?

Gir- I GOTS A FISHY SWIMMING IN MAH HEAD!

Voice- Ehn?

Gir- (opens his head and reveals that it's full of water and fish are swimming in it)

Voice- WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE FISH TANK IN YOUR HEAD!

Gir- (looks blankly into space)

Voice- Gir. . .IS MADE OF LIME GREEN JELLO!

Gir- Jello? Choo wants some? I gots some!

Voice- Um. . .No. . .

Gir- (tears up) Whyyyy?

Voice- Um. . .Because. . .

Gir- Awwww. . .

Voice- Wait. . .Is it lemon-flavored?

Gir- Yeeeeees. . .

Voice- Well. . .I guess I'll have some then. . .

Gir- WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE EET!

Voice- (curses) . . .GIR. . .TAKES BALLET! AND WEARS A LIL' PINK TUTU!

Gir- I wishes. . .I WANTS TO DANCE WIT' DA QUEER KIDDIES! THEY SO FUN! THEY HOP AROUND LIKE BUNNIES ON CRACK! I WANT TO DANCE LIKE A BUNNY ON CRACK! I DOOOOOO! HUGS, NOT DRUGS! (I saw a shirt with that phrase in Hot Topic when I got this AWESOME Invader Zim shirt that I'm wearing RIGHT NOW for help in my writin'!)

Voice- You are. . .Really are starting to frighten me. . .

Gir- WHEEHOO!

Voice- (mumbling, pissed) . . . .Gir. . .Makes little children cry so they grow up depressed and commit suicide!

Gir- YAH! I LIKES THE LIL' KIDDIES! THEY GIVES MEH CANDEH! MASTA DON'T LIKE DEM, THOUGH! ESPECIALLY BIG-HEAD DIB! BUT I DOOOOO! HIS HEAD LOOKS FUN TA RIDE! LIKE A HORSEY! I WANT TA RIDE HIS HORSEY-HEAD! OH YAH!

Voice-I'M GETTING A MIGRAINE HERE! YOUR VOICE IS LIKE DIARRHEA! IT NEVER STOPS AND IT BRINGS A TERRIBLE PAIN! GOD DAMMIT!

Gir- (grins) 'Kay!

Voice- THANK GOD! . . .Gir. . .Has a mutant pet lobster named Billy-Joe-Bob!

Gir- I dooooo. . .

Voice- . . .Really?

Gir- YUP! (yanks a wet, angry cat out of his head) HE WANT TO MEET CHOOOOOOOOO! (flings it in the direction of the voice)

Voice- (screams) DISEASED FUCK-TART! GET THE HORRIBLE DEMON, MUTANT, BILLY CAT-LOBSTER OR WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS OFF MEH! (falls from wherever he is) DAMMIT!

Gir- HE LIKES CHOO! (giggles)

Voice- (has probably pried the horrible cat off him) GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, BITCH! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! GO TORMENT SOMEONE ELSE!

Gir- SURE THING, BUDDEH! (runs off) (comes back) Oops! Forgot mah anniversary gift! (Grabs the stool and runs off)

Voice- Aw, shit! I liked that stool. . .(tears up) Fred-Bob. . .WHYYYYYY?

* * *

Whee! THAT WAS A LOAD OF FUN TO WRITE! NICE AND QUICK! THANK YOU SUGAR! R&R! Next chapter will be Gaz. . .Don't expect it soon as the others. . . 


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